“A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.” – Antoine de Saint Exupery
There are moments in our lives where we realize something needs to change. The straw that breaks the camels back.
This for me was about 2 years ago when I almost lost the relationship I had with my now husband. It was a make or break situation, and just like that a switch went off in my head and said to myself, “I will NOT be the reason this relationship fails.”
I needed to change and eliminate my feelings of jealousy, which I later realized was more about my self esteem and confidence issues. What helped me a lot was recognizing that there are plenty of people that live with this (it’s not just me), don’t feel it at all, and live with it then change it and no longer deal with it at all; I was determined to make that me.
It was like I received information that day. I had come to realize the one piece of information that would totally transform my way of thinking: I am the ONLY ME in this world. I had a choice, I could either be the best I can be, or run away from this problem and never face anything.
The quote above really describes what happened to me that day. A stranger had awaken inside me and thus began my journey into enlightenment. One step lead to another and before I knew it, I was meditating, discovering my subconscious blocks, and really shining light on so many parts of myself that I kept hidden away.
It was in the moment of realizing my self destructive habits, that I ignored the social stigma of “people can’t change” and replied back with “says who?”. I made the promise to myself that I would change and release these habits that were not serving me.
Turning our consciousness inward is the BEST way for us to work past any situation that is causing us stress, anger, sadness. We need to look to ourselves and ask “why am I reacting this way? what inside me is causing this reaction?” For me, the jealousy was my reaction to the outlook of myself and my lack of confidence.
Understanding that everything starts and comes from within, is crucial to how we react to situations. If we realize that nothing can take away our inner happiness and that our happiness begins with US, then we can look at every situation as it happens to choose how we want to react, rather than react out of pure unfiltered emotion (which at times can make us look rather foolish).
One day Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up to him and began insulting him.
“You have no right to be teaching others!!!” he shouted.
“You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake!!”
Buddha was not upset by these insults. He just smiled. The man insulted him again and again but the only reaction he could get back from the Buddha was a smile and silence. Finally he stomped his feet and left cursing.The disciples were feeling angry and one of the them couldn’t keep quiet and asked the Buddha, “Why didn’t you reply to the rude man?”The Buddha replied, “If someone offers you a gift, and you refuse to accept it, to whom does the gift belong?”
“Of course to the person who brought the gift,” replied the disciple. “That is correct,” smiled the Buddha, “and that is exactly why I didn’t accept what that young man was trying to offer me”.